Have you ever felt like you’ve hit a wall and you just can’t quite reach your goals? Here are four reasons why you may not be reaching them! 

• You don’t have a clear, precise goal.If you don’t know exactly where you’re going, you can’t get there! You want more money? If you’re just working for “more” money, earning one extra dollar is more. You need to be precise. How much more money do you want? What is it you want to do? What do you want your life to look like? What does your house look like? What model car are you driving? The more clear your goals are the more likely you are to achieve them.
• Your “why” isn’t powerful enough?You need a powerful reason to actually change your mindset and keep you going when the going gets tough. The doctor tells you that you need to lose weight, but you feel fine. How motivated are you? Now imagine that you can’t walk up the stairs or go from the kitchen to the living room without being out of breath and your all your joints hurt. You go the doctor and he tells that there’s only one cure for what ails you and that’s losing weight! If you lose weight you’ll be able to breathe and your joints won’t hurt. He guarantees it. Would that be more motivating? So keep asking yourself why, until you finally find the reason that really moves you.
• You don’t have a plan.You win a trip to Rome. What will you do when you get there? To get the most out of your trip you’re going to look up places to visit, get an English/Italian translation app, and have a map of the city so you can get around. You’re going to do all of these things before you even leave your house. So why is that most of us don’t plan our life? Do you want to live your best life? Then plan for it!
• You don’t have support.Let’s face it, not all of our family and friends are going to support our dreams and goals. Arnold Schwartzenegger wanted to be a body builder. His family tried to discourage him. His father wanted him to become a police officer and his mother wanted him to go to a trade school. Arnold didn’t care, he wanted to be a body builder and fortunately for him he found support through his coaches. He looked to his idols, Reg Park, Steve Reeves and Johnny Weissmuller, to remind himself that if they could do it, so could he. 

 
​What is that you want? Do you know why you want it? Do you know what it is that’s stopping you? Do you know how to create a plan and strategies to achieve your goals? 

Don’t let your life pass you by! Sign up today for my new “Designing Your Best Life”coaching mastermind, at www.jlbcoachingsolutions.com/events. You’ll get the benefit of individual coaching as well as the support and knowledge of the mastermind group. You’ll gain clarity, focus, support, motivation and accountability. We’ll work on your individual needs and together we’ll create a plan so that you can create your best life!

Meditation can seem mysterious. Guru’s do it. Celebrities do it. Does the average Joe or Jane really do it? The answer is a resounding yes! 
 
Now I know what you’re thinking you’re busy. You don’t have time to waste meditating. In the past when you’ve tried, all the things you needed to do came to mind and you started to make a list in your head. Then you felt guilty for just sitting there and not doing the things on your list, so you finally gave up. Sound familiar? I know I used to feel that way until I forced myself to meditate on a regular basis. Don’t get me wrong, there are times I struggle with the thoughts in my head, but I’ve discovered if I sit there long enough I usually settle down. 
 
Jim Rohn told a story about a man chopping down a tree with a blunt axe. His neighbor suggested that he stop to sharpen the axe so he would chop the tree down quicker, but the man said he didn’t have time, he was too busy chopping down the tree. Many of us do the same thing. We’re so busy trying to do so many things, that we waste our time and energy going in circles. We’re stressed, frustrated and lack of focus. What I’ve found is that meditating can give you more energy and focus, and help with creative problem solving. I know I always come up with good ideas or solve problems more easily after meditating. When I meditate I’m taking the time to sharpen my axe!
 
Humans have a tendency to overcomplicate things. Don’t judge your meditation and think you’re doing it wrong. It really isn’t complicated. If you ever stared out a window and daydreamed, you’ve meditated!  

Find a comfortable chair and sit down and relax. Take some deep breaths. Feel the muscles in your body relax. Start with your toes and work your way up or start with your face and relax all the muscles in your face until your eyes are so heavy that you can’t seem to open them. Concentrate on your breath. When thoughts come into your head, observe them and release them. Don’t engage in an internal conversation and don’t  judge! It takes practice, so be patient with yourself. 
 
If you’ve never meditated before I suggest starting with a short, 10 minute guided meditation. YouTube is a great place to find meditations and there are numerous apps: 

•  Trixie 
• Aura
• Oak
• Mindfi
• Sway
• Timeless Meditation
• Now: Meditation
• Zen Friend
• Mindbliss
• Calm
• Buddhify
• Sonus Island

 
Take the time to meditate and keep a journal on how you feel during and after you meditate. I find first thing in the morning and before bed are ideals times, but you can do it any time that works for you. Even if you just close your eyes and do some deep breathing for a couple of minutes, you’ll find it will make a big difference! 
 
If you’d like to learn more about meditation sign up today for my workshop, "Empower Your Life With Meditation." Call me for more information or go to:  www.jlbcoachingsolutions.com/events.html.

Do you have goals, dreams and aspirations? Why haven’t you achieved them yet? Many people believe that change is impossible, after all old dogs can’t learn new tricks, right? Wrong! Change is possible with planning, and being aware of what you’re doing, and not doing!
  

1. Clarify your goal or goals!  If you aren’t clear on what you want, you’ll never obtain it. Think about the last time you went on vacation. Did you have an idea of where you wanted to go, or did you just get in the car and start driving, and then stop when you ran out of gas? Wanting more money is not a goal! You need to determine how much you want, after all earning an extra dollar is more money! Take the time to clearly define what you want!
   
   
2. Have a plan! For instance, you’ve decided to go to Disney World. Will you drive or fly? What route will you take? How will you get to and from the airport? Where will you stay? You need to know these things in order for your vacation to become a reality. Well, the same is true of your goals! You need a plan! You need to know what steps you need to take to achieve them. If you want to lose weight, you need to exercise and make healthier food choices. What foods will you eat? How often will you exercise? What kind of exercise will you do? 
   
   
3. Prepare for obstacles! Let’s face it, you will run into obstacles and setbacks while working on your goals or changing your habits. I know this sounds similar to planning, and it is, but its crucial to have strategies in place before you run into trouble, so I'm listing it separately. You’d be surprised how many people don’t prepare for obstacles and setbacks and when they do encounter them, they give up on their dreams and consider themselves a failure. I don't want that to happen to you! If you plan in advance, you’ll be in control and make better choices. For instance, you want to make healthier food choices, you'll need to think about what you will eat before you're hungry. And if you decide you want a treat, that's okay, but plan for it and don't feel guilty afterward. The objective is to make conscious decisions, and not operate from old habits without thinking.
   ​
4. Monitor your progress! Keep a journal. Continuously review and adjust your plan to see what’s working and what isn’t! Review your day and analyze, without judgement, how your day went. What went right? What didn’t go so well? What can you do different? After you're done, let it go. You can't change the past, so being upset isn't useful, but you can learn from it to ensure that your future is more successful!
   
   
5. Stay motivated! When the going gets tough, and it will, how will you stay motivated? Surround yourself with people who can help you, encourage you and support you.  Also, constantly remind yourself of your goals and why they’re so important! Put your goals and your “why” in writing, it makes them tangible and more achievable! Read it at least twice a day. Do it first thing in the morning to set the tone for the day, and again in the evening before going to bed. Constantly re-reading your goals helps to ingrain them into your subconscious.
   
   

Don’t wait for a better time to start working on your goals, start now! If you think it isn’t worth working on your goals because it will take too long to achieve them, think again! The time will pass anyway! Isn’t it better to be making some progress now, rather than staying stuck where you are?

Why do we correct or argue with people? Is it that we are trying to educate them, keep them from embarrassing themselves, stand up for what we believe to be right, or is it because of our own need for significance, or our need to feel superior?
 
I remember reading a story about how a host at a dinner party attributed a quote to the wrong person. A guest spoke up and said, "I believe that so and so, said that."  The host replied, “I’m sure it was this other person.” What would you do? Would you continue to argue because you know you're right and he’s wrong, or would you drop it?
 
What is the cost of always proving you're right? In the scheme of things does it really make a difference? And what does it say about you when you keep arguing? Here are six points to consider before arguing or correcting someone.

1. Why is this so important to me? You may find this difficult, but take some time to think about it. Often when we argue we get into an "I'm right, you're wrong" situation. Unless it's something crucial, is it really worth the effort and the hard feelings that will ensue? After giving it some thought you may realize that it isn't really that important.
   
   
2. What am I trying to prove? Sometimes when we're critical or argue, we want to feel significant or superior. Do some soul searching here and make sure you understand your intentions!
   
   
3. Will this hurt or demean the person I'm arguing with? Often we don't even realize we're hurting someone. I went to school with a girl who pronounced the word "idea" with an "r" on the end. The other kids were constantly correcting her, but the thing is, she thought she was pronouncing it correctly and couldn't hear the "r."  What was the point of correcting her, other then to belittle her and make the other kids feel superior? Is that your intention? 
   
   
4. Will someone else be hurt, physically or emotionally? Is it a life or death situation? Will the other person’s point of view cause harm or take away someone’s rights? When it comes to protecting others, it’s crucial that you speak up! If you know that someone’s actions or words are harmful and you do nothing about it, you're as culpable as they are! Think about bullying, racism, slavery, concentration camps, women’s rights, and what was done to Native Americans, just to name a few. It doesn't even have to be on such a grand scale, it's also applicable to situations in our family, schools and work place. If more people speak out against and acknowledge the wrongs that were and are being committed, maybe we would have more compassion and peace in the world!  The long-term affect of our actions or inactions are immeasurable. This is definitely a time to make your voice heard!
   
   
5. Never compromise your values, integrity or reputation!  There are many times we need to compromise, but never, ever compromise these three things! They represent who you are and what you stand for. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it may seem easier to give in, but at the end of the day you have to live with yourself! If compromising your values, integrity or reputation makes you not like who you are, then STOP and hold your ground!
   ​
6. Stand up for yourself! You are a worthwhile, competent, intelligent person, don’t allow anyone to push you around or tell you, you're not! There is no appropriate time to be abused physically, verbally or mentally! And yes, being bullied or ridiculed is abuse! If you don’t stand up for yourself, you won’t like yourself, you’re compromising your values, integrity and reputation, and you are harming someone – YOU! If you are in a situation where standing up for yourself may put you in danger, then you need to get help and remove yourself from the situation. If you can't go to family and friends, there are organizations that can help. You can also go to your doctor, the hospital, church or synagogue, but please don't put up with abuse of any kind!

What did the guest in our story do? He decided to be kind and not say anything further. He could have argued the point, but at what cost, and for what purpose? The only thing arguing would have accomplished is to humiliate his host, create a scene and most likely have cost him a friendship. Is that worth it? He knew he was right, and just because he didn’t argue further or try to prove it, doesn’t change what's true! 
​
Let's face it, it all comes down to choosing our battles wisely, and treating people with respect. We've all picked an argument, been hurtful or said things that we regret. If we take the time to examine our motives before we criticize, correct, or try to prove we're right, maybe we can minimize those occasions.  So, review your answers, and then decide if it might not be a better decision to be kind, rather than right! 

As I shoveled the driveway I marveled at the daffodil leaves peeking out from under the snow and the buds on the trees. Although our driveway turned into a sheet of ice that night, warmer temperatures will soon be here and winter will be nothing more than a memory. It is after all the middle of March, and spring officially arrives next week, as does my daughter’s fortieth birthday! Yikes! It seems like only yesterday she was six, the same age as my granddaughter.
 
Every so often I forget, and wonder who the stranger in the mirror is. That old lady couldn’t possibly be me! And then there are times, like Tuesday, where I’m reminded that we’re like the snow, only here for a short time, soon to become a memory. Have you ever thought about when your gone, and how you’ll be remembered?
 
You may think that talking about leaving a legacy is morbid, but it really isn’t. It’s about hope, love and joy. If you take a few minutes to evaluate your life and think about how you want to be remembered and work on becoming "that person", you’re more likely to have a happy and fulfilled life. One without regrets!
 
I have a friend who has been unsettled about the current state of politics. She has decided to do something about it, and run for local office. I have another friend who has decided to use her years and expertise in building a business, to helping others get their business off the ground.  I’m so proud of these women for not accepting that being in your sixties is over the hill, or a time to go “quietly into the night”. These women are starting new careers and making a difference in the world! They are an inspiration to anyone aspiring to do something with their life, regardless of their age!
 
Some things to consider when evaluating your legacy:
 

1. Show love and compassion to yourself and others.
2. Help others. What is the point of working hard if you don’t help others? As they say, you can’t take it with you! Think about donating to a worthy cause or volunteering. Time is often much more valuable and powerful than money. It’s not only a gift to the recipient, it’s a gift to the giver as well.
3. Be persistent. Don’t give up when things get tough. Learn from your mistakes and keep going!
4. Live up to your values and have integrity. Don’t compromise your values!
5. Never stop growing and learning. Tony Robbins said that if you’re not growing you’re dying!
6. Set a good example. Just deciding to make a change in your life can inspire someone else. Maybe losing weight or starting a new vocation. Show your children and grandchildren that’s it’s never too late to do and be more!
   ​

I don’t know about you, but I think the meaning of life is about love, enjoying what we do, to always do and be our best and to make a positive difference. I think we should strive to live up to our potential, and to make the world a better place. It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale. We aren’t all going to be like Mother Theresa or Mahatma Gandhi, but we can have a positive influence on someone, even it’s just one person!
 
If you don’t like your legacy so far, and you’re able to read this, you still have time to change it! Regardless of how old or how young you are, now is the time to start working on how you want to be remembered!
 
 
 
 

How do you talk to yourself? Do you ever pay attention to the words you use when talking to yourself?
 
You just spilled your morning coffee. What do you say to yourself? Does it sound something like this? “I can’t believe I just did that, I’m such an idiot!” Or, “I’m such a klutz! I’m always spilling things!” And to make matters worse it sets the tone for the rest of the day.  By the time you get home you say, “You can’t believe the day I had! It all started this morning when I spilled my coffee and it went downhill from there!”
 
Sound familiar? We often have trouble letting go! Take a minute and think about what you would say to a friend who spilled his or her coffee? Would you say the same thing to them, that you just said to yourself? What if you had said something like this instead? “I spilled my coffee because I was rushing. I’m doing too many things at one time. I need to slow down and take a few breaths.” And then, what if you slowed down, forgave yourself and let it go? What would have happened then? Your day probably would have turned out perfectly fine!
 
Instead we tend to dwell on the negative and keep reliving it over, and over again. As we repeat the experience we get even more annoyed and angry with ourselves. The more negative we feel, the more negativity we seem to attract! And that’s not the only problem. Our brain believes everything we tell it, good, bad, real or imaged! They’ve done experiments and have proved that the brain can’t differentiate between what’s real and what’s imagined!
 
There was a study done where they took three groups of people. The first set lifted weights three times a week. The second set went about their regular routine and the third set only imagined that they were lifting the weights. After several weeks, as expected, the first group gained muscle mass. The second group saw no change. And the third group, the one that only imagined lifting the weights? Guess what they found? The third group had an increase in muscle mass almost as much as the group that actually did lift the weights!
 
Do you realize the implications? Hmmm, maybe we can skip going to the gym! But on a serious note, this proves, beyond a doubt, that whatever you tell yourself over and over, whether it’s true or not, the brain believes it. If you think you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not confident enough, you’ll prove yourself right!
 
Affirmations are great way to stop the cycle, but if you actively don’t believe them, scoff at them, or ridicule yourself for doing them, they won’t help! You’re sending mixed signals and when in doubt your subconscious will believe the old and familiar negative thoughts. To make affirmations work you must “feel” what you’re saying and believe that new emotion. For instance if you’re affirmation is, “I love myself, just the way I am.” Then you have to imagine how loving yourself feels and then feel the emotion as you say your affirmation.
 
You can also try recording your affirmations and play them when you’re in a meditative state or before going to bed at night. If you don’t want to record them, get in a meditative and say them to yourself, but you must feel the emotions that match what you’re saying. Be appreciative, loving and grateful for who you are! Being in a meditative state, is very similar to being in a hypnotic state, you’ll be more open to receiving your affirmations, without all the internal chatter!
 
It’s also a good idea to keep a gratitude journal to help alleviate stress and elevate positive emotions. There are so many things you can be grateful for and it doesn’t have to be big. Be sure to appreciate yourself and the things you do! Maybe you did something to help a friend. Acknowledge that, and be grateful that you had the ability to help. Be grateful when you do things well, for instance finishing a project at work ahead of schedule, or maybe completing a task you dreaded doing. It can also be something as simple as opening a door for someone, making a nice dinner, eating a salad, not eating junk or just making your bed.
 
Pay attention to what you say to yourself, since what you say to yourself will have a huge impact on your life! Choose positive thoughts, words and actions when talking or referring to yourself. When you catch yourself saying something negative, apologize and tell yourself that whatever you just said isn’t true and say something positive about yourself. When you stop to think about what you’re saying, you’re stopping the program from running on automatic pilot and that’s the beginning of conquering your inner critic!
 

When we’re young we can’t wait to be older so we can achieve some milestone; drive, drink, vote, live on our own, get married, have kids, get a promotion, make “x” amount of money, etc. 
 
However, as we get older we realize that we only have a finite amount of time to do all the things we want to do, and start worrying about how we’re going to get it all done! The problem isn’t that we don’t have enough time, everyone is allotted the same 168 hours in a week. The problem is, most us waste a good deal of time doing things that aren’t all that important.
 
How many of you go from project to project without finishing one first? You’re working on one project, think of something and start working on something else. Or maybe you’re working on a project, take a break and decide to check Facebook or emails for a few minutes, only to find that two hours have gone by and you’re still checking emails or on Facebook. Or maybe you’re avoiding doing a project and do something not as important instead?
 
Do you spend most of your time reacting to your environment? Do you answer the phone, or send e-mails and texts while working on a project? Are you always putting out fires? We are often our own worst enemy! It’s not because we’re lazy, it’s because we put everything that we can think of on our to-do list. Then we feel overwhelmed, can’t figure out what’s important and can’t understand why we can’t get it all done. How do we get a handle on achieving what we want?
 
You might want to get rid of your to-do list! Instead, only list the top five things that need to be done each day, if there’s time left over you can do the “not so important stuff.” Number the items 1 through 5, with one being the most important.
 
Start working on number one, and when its’ completed start number two. Do Not start the second project until the first is completed! Even if the day gets derailed, you’ll have accomplished something significant, and best of all its finished! You can check it off the list! You’ll feel great, regardless of whatever else happens that day!
 
How do you figure out what should be done first?

1. Determine what your goal is. You must start here! If you don’t know the goal you won’t know what to work on. If you’re working on goals for different areas of your life, that’s okay! Just make sure to write them down and then make a list of the things you need to do to accomplish each goal. Please don’t work on too many areas of your life at one time, you may become overwhelmed and end up not accomplishing anything! Keep it manageable!
   
   Do you want to spend more time with your family?
   Do you want to write a book?
   Do you want to be an artist?
   Do you want to be healthy?
   Do you want a promotion?
   Do you want a different job?
   If your self-employed, what needs to get done to further your business? Etc.
    

2.Divide your list into four categories. 

• What’s necessary to achieve your goal? Phone calls, networking, proposals, going to classes, writing, getting up earlier, exercise, meditation, eat more salads, allotting a set amount of quality time with your family, etc? By the way, there is a growing theory that we should get up between 4am and 5am. We are more creative at that hour and it gives us time to start our day stress free.
  
  Getting up early gives us time to meditate, think, exercise, journal and plan our day in a relaxed environment. Even if you don’t want to get up quite that early, try getting up an hour or two before you have to, you’ll be more relaxed and you’re adding more productive hours to your day! Even if you’re a night owl, are you really getting anything productive done, while you’re up? If you are, that’s fantastic, but if you aren’t, you may want to rethink what you’re doing.
  
  
• Things that are urgent and must be done immediately, these may or may not be critical to achieving your goals but must be done; such as paying a forgotten bill on the due date!
  
  
• What would be nice to get done, but can wait; maybe painting a bedroom.
  
  
• Necessary everyday tasks that will become urgent if neglected. For instance; cleaning, going to the grocery store, taking out the trash, bookkeeping, filing, etc. This is a good category to delegate or outsource.
  
  

1. Prioritize your day from these lists.

 

• If you have something on your “urgent, must be done immediately” list, start there. To keep from feeling overwhelmed and stressed have as little on this list as possible! You want to be working on important things a little at a time, well before they’re due. For instance, taxes are due April 15th, don’t wait until the 14th or for that matter even the first to start working on them! If you haven’t started yet, start now! This way you can work on them a little at a time. If it’s too overwhelming hire a bookkeeper to help you get everything in order and have them help you put systems in place so next year will be easier!
  
  
• After the “urgent” things are done, the next thing on your list should be the top things that are going to help you achieve your goals. Prioritize your list and do the most important ones first. And when you’ve completed those, go on to the next category.

 

• Set specific times to return calls, check emails, and Facebook, and set a timer so you don’t spend more time then you intend.
  
  
• If your phone rings while you’re working on a project, check your caller ID and see if it’s someone you can call back later. If it is, don’t answer the phone! If it’s a family member or you think it’s an emergency, then by all means answer it. Or have an assistant screen your calls for you.
  
  
• Utilize programs and apps to make your life easier. Constant contacts, Hootsuite, Cam-card, etc.
  
  
• Touch mail and paperwork only once.

 
When to Hire Someone:
 
You should hire someone to do things that are a complete waste of your time or outside of your area of expertise! For instance, creating or updating your website, marketing, bookkeeping, cleaning or painting a room in your house. If you struggle doing these things or absolutely hate doing them, or they just take too much of your time, hire someone!
 
Doing these things, yourself, may take you two to three times longer than someone who’s an expert, or maybe you’ll procrastinate and feel terrible that you’re putting it off. That’s time and energy you could be spending on something more important and more productive, that only you can do! If you have the free time and feel like doing it, that’s fine, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed, then outsource it! Or if it’s something that can wait, then let it go, at least for now!
 
Outsourcing doesn’t necessarily have to be expensive. Depending on the job you have in mind, you might be able to hire a high school student, a relative or a virtual assistant for a couple hours a week or a month. Freeing yourself up for even a couple of hours can make a huge difference.

The bottom line is to work smarter not harder! Life is too short to be wasting your time and energy on things that don’t matter! Take time every evening to go over your list and choose the top five most important things you need to do the next day. Go over your list again in the morning to adjust for any emergencies. We all want to eliminate as much stress from our lives as possible and when we take the time to analyze our “to-do” list, and keep it simple, we can at least eliminate some self-imposed stress.
 
 

Napoleon Hill said that, “Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination.” Nothing gets accomplished without them!
 
1.Patience:
You must be patient! Today we’re used to and expect things to happen immediately. We have remotes to operate our televisions, without getting up. We have cell phones so we can communicate anytime and anywhere. We can “instant message.” We can “tweet.” We can keep tabs on people all over the world and wherever we are, in pretty much real time. We aren’t used to waiting, but there are things that can’t be rushed.
 
You can’t accomplish your dreams overnight, it takes time. You want to lose weight. You want to make money. You’re building a business. You want to be healthy.  Whatever your goals are, it will take time to achieve. If you give up too early, you will never accomplish your goals! Be patient, good things are worth the wait!
 
2.Persistence:
You must be persistent! When the going gets tough, persistence will keep you going, even when you feel like quitting. Think about the rewards of achieving your goals. Have a strong “why,” to keep you motivated.
 
I love the story Napoleon Hill tells us in “Think and Grow Rich,” about R. U. Darby. Darby had “gold fever” and struck out to make his fortune. He staked a claim and found gold. He didn’t have enough money to buy the equipment he needed, so he went back home and convinced his friends and family to help him buy the equipment. He went back to the mine and at first found a lot of gold, but after a time the gold dried up. He was completely discouraged and sold his equipment and his claim to a junk man. The junk man hired a mining engineer, who explained how gold veins run and told him to start digging only three feet from where Darby stopped. The junk man made millions! The morale of the story? Don’t give up too soon and when you hit a road block seek expert advice!
 
3.Perspiration:
Nothing can be accomplished without work! A goal is just wishful thinking, if you don’t work towards it. I know what you’re thinking. You watched the movie “The Secret” and they told you that if you want something, just think about it and you’ll get it. Unfortunately, that’s not the whole story. You must put in some elbow grease! There are infinite possibilities in the universe, but you must be open to them and you must do the work!
 
To start with, you must change how you think! If you want to be thin, think like a thin person. Follow someone who is thin and watch how they eat and what they do. If you start thinking, eating and exercising like they do you will lose weight. But if you just wish to become thin and don’t change any of your behaviors, nothing will change! I know there are a lot of thin people who seem to eat a lot, but what do they eat? Do they exercise? Are they always on the go? Look at the whole picture. You’re not with them 24/7 so you don’t know what else they do.
 
If you have your own business, but aren’t where you want to be, start looking at more successful people in your field and see what they’re doing differently! Find a mentor or a coach and change what you're doing!
 
If you’re having trouble changing your behaviors, meditate! Meditation has been shown to help people change behaviors and create a new reality. Pick one new habit and work on only that habit and when you have that beat, start working on something else. We often try to change too many things at one time and get overwhelmed and give up. Don’t give up, you’re worth it! Have someone hold you accountable. It’s much easier to stick to your plan when you have people in your life that encourage you and don’t accept your excuses!
 
If you haven’t read Napoleon Hill’s book, “Think and Grow Rich,” I highly recommend it! It’s the bible to creating change in both your personal and professional life. I also highly recommend you meditate!
 
If you’d like to study “Think and Grow Rich” in a group setting, check out the upcoming mastermind, Monday, February 6th, 2017, 7pm, on my events page.
 
Don’t forget to post comments. I would love to hear your stories!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Being a caregiver isn’t for the faint of heart! They have more emotional ups and down “then Carter has liver pills.” …I know I’m dating myself!
 
Emotions are information. They’re telling you something and you need to examine them to figure out what it is they’re telling you. Are you feeling sad or unhappy? Why? Do you feel out of control? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? What’s the cause?  Are you overwhelmed? Do you feel guilty?
 
Don’t ignore your emotions! When you do, you’re creating the equivalent of a volcano, and at an inappropriate time or situation you will explode! So, deal with your feelings before that happens!

• Figure out what your feelings are telling you.
• Is what you’re feeling accurate or appropriate?
• Look for solutions.
• Can you do anything about it?
• What can you do about it?

 
For example, the condition of the person you’re taking care of changes. Maybe you need to spend more time taking care of them. You can’t control the fact that they need more help, but you can control who takes care of them. Can you hire someone? If you can’t afford to hire someone, can another family member or even a friend, stop by to relieve you, or just to help? And for heaven’s sake, ask them! People typically won’t offer help. I know, it would be nice if they did, but they won’t! They assume that if you need help you’ll ask them, so go ahead and ask! Start thinking outside the box. Accept the situation, but think about things you can do to take some of the burden off yourself.
 
I don’t know about you, but I was raised to feel guilty about “everything!” As an adult, I’ve learned that guilt is very destructive. It’s self-imposed and typically not appropriate.  You may feel guilty that you’re healthy and the other person isn’t. You may feel guilty because you still want to do things and have a life. You may feel guilty because you’re not able to be there 24/7 or maybe you feel guilty because you resent being there 24/7. It’s perfectly normal to have these feelings! It does NOT make you a bad person! It makes you human! Work on letting go of guilt. Examine the reasons for it. See if you can find solutions and give yourself permission to have those feeling! They’re just feeling and the only person they can harm, if you feel guilty about them, …is you!
 
Caregivers often suffer from depression. Their life seems to be on hold. They’re overwhelmed and overburdened with things that they think must get done. But you know what? Not all of it has to get done! Prioritize and only do the necessities. Don’t stretch yourself too thin! Don’t be shy, ask for help! Have positive people in your life that you can turn to. And for goodness sake take time for yourself, and try to have some fun on a regular basis!  
 
Life can change at any given moment. You may think you have things under control, and suddenly, wham! There’s a new, unforeseen wrinkle thrown in the mix! When change occurs, you will most likely go through at least some of the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Maybe the patient suddenly requires more care than before. You feel bad for them, but you may also grieve for yourself and the impact that it has on your life. This is perfectly normal! You’re allowed to "deny, be angry and depressed,"  but only for a short time. Don’t live there!
 
There are things you can do that will help you cope:

• Exercise: I know it can be difficult to find time to exercise, but exercise helps build strength, and helps to reduce anxiety and stress. Even if you only have time for a ten or fifteen-minute walk, do it! You’ll feel better and more relaxed.
  
  
• Meditate: Meditation is one of the best ways to achieve acceptance and peace. Meditate on a regular basis. I started meditating twice a day, in the morning and before bed and it makes a significant difference! I also highly recommend meditation for the patient as well, if they’re willing to try it. Studies have shown that meditation can help ease pain and promote healing. Meditation also helps with anxiety, depression and letting go of what you can’t control.
  
  
• Paying attention to your breath:  Throughout the day and especially when you’re anxious take several deep breaths through your mouth and out your nose. Notice the air temperature going in and out. Follow your breath from your nose to the bottom of your lungs and then follow it back out. This is very calming and can be done anytime and anywhere.
  
  
• Laugh: Laughter truly is the best medicine. Take a few minutes every day to just laugh. I remember Tony Robbins talk about an experiment where they took depressed people and made them look in the mirror and make the biggest smile possible. The exercise got the people laughing because they thought they looked silly, but it also helped to lift them out of their depression, almost immediately! You can’t be depressed when you’re smiling and laughing. It’s physically impossible!
  
  
• Focus on your body: Take time out to relax your body. Scan your body starting at your toes and notice the body parts that are tight and breathe into them and relax.

 
You don’t have to go on the rollercoaster alone! These are great tools to use, but sometimes professional help is needed! Don’t hesitate to talk to a professional. Being a caregiver isn’t easy. You need to take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of anyone else! And remember, regardless of the condition of the person you're caring for, you still deserve to be happy! 

You don't need to be a "caregiver" to relate, taking care of children can at times feel the same way. Please leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you and see how you're coping!

In 1983 Shirley MacLaine’s book “Out On A Limb” came out. By the way, she’s a very interesting lady!  I thought her stories about meditation were fascinating. She wrote about out of body experiences, and even being up in the mountains freezing and using meditation to get warm, by visualizing the sun warming her, and it worked! I wanted some of this!
 
Over the years I’ve dabbled with meditation, but for one reason or another I just couldn’t seem to stick with it. The first time I tried to meditate I kept thinking about all the things that I had to do. In my head, I wrote out my shopping list and to do list, and then I got annoyed. Why on earth was I just sitting here when there were things to be done? I was antsy and bored. After five minutes, and yes it was only five minutes even though it seemed more like an hour, I was done.
 
But I knew meditation was going to be good for me, so I persevered. I finally discovered Deepak Chopra’s meditations and could sit through the entire meditation. Progress!
 
I meditate most every day now, but there are times I still struggle to stay in the present moment and not let my thoughts wander, but I found the more often you meditate, the easier it is.  I’ve also discovered that Shirley MacLaine’s experiences aren’t unique. Using meditation people can heal themselves, create permanent behavioral changes, as well as raising their body temperature!
 
In December, I spent a weekend at one of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s workshops where we meditated throughout the day for three days.  If you don’t know about him, you need to check him out. http://www.drjoedispenza.com

Dr. Dispenza is a chiropractor, researcher, scientist and author. He healed himself using mediation and has done extensive research that shows that meditation consistently works to heal the body and create change. It was an amazing experience and if you get a chance to go to one of his workshops I highly recommend it!
 
I enjoyed the experience so much that I’m starting a meditation and support group with Paula Sabharwal PWP, PAI and Dr. Susan Raslovick, D.C. You can’t beat the mediation experience when you doing it in a group setting, so you won’t want to miss out on this unique opportunity, whether you’re a beginner or an experienced meditator! You’ll learn more about how to meditate, why it can be difficult when first starting out and suggestions to make the experience better. We’ll also learn more about Dr. Joe and his techniques, and how to obtain the results you want!
 
We’ll be conducting weekly meditation sessions at Dr. Raslovick's office, 376 Summerfield Court, Horsham, PA. We will be using Dr. Dispenza’s philosophies and meditation tools, the six-week session, Tap Into Your Inner "Genius," begins Tuesday, January 31st, 7pm. For those that would like to try it out. Please join our weekly Awaken to Your Inner "Genius" Meditation group, beginning Thursday, January 26th, 7pm.

Register here: meetup.com