Have you ever looked at someone else and marveled how they seem to have it so much easier than you do?  We often compare ourselves to others and think other people are smarter, luckier, happier and more successful than we are. But the reality is that we don’t know their whole story. We don’t know about the struggles and adversities they’ve faced. “Overnight” successes can be ten or twenty years in the making.  But maybe the biggest difference between you and them doesn’t lie as much in their story, as it does in their attitude.

A friend recently suggested that I read the book “The Greatest Miracle In the World,” by Og Mandino. If you haven’t read it, you should, it’s short, but powerful. The book confirmed what I have always believed to be true. We all have the power to be happy and successful no matter what our circumstances or how much money we have!
 
According to Mandino there are five simple laws for happiness and success:

1. Count your blessings. Gratitude is powerful. Start and end your day listing all the things you’re grateful for. It can be anything; the scent of a flower, sunshine, a beautiful sunset, a kind word, a stranger letting you out in traffic, talking to a friend, your kids, your husband, walking the dog or snuggling with your cat.
   
   Count your blessings. Be grateful for your health and the things you are able to do. Even if you’re ill or infirm, there’s always something to be grateful for, your doctors, the support and prayers of others, or that you survived a serious illness. You’ll be amazed at how much you have to be grateful for, regardless of your circumstances. Gratitude can set the tone for the start and end of your day.
   
   
2. Proclaim your rarity. I think this one can be difficult for many. We often don’t recognize how special we are. The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said that God is in all of us and I agree. We are all special and we all have gifts, we just need to realize it and embrace it.
   
   I remember when I was very young, my grandmother used to tell me that we are all special and good at something, we just need to discover what it is. At the time I remember thinking that I would never figure it out. And truth be told, it took me a while, but I did finally realize that what I had always considered to be my weaknesses were actually my strengths. I am stubborn, sensitive, and an introvert, which has helped me throughout my life, to be tenacious, empathetic, and a good listener.
   
   Be proud of yourself and embrace your quirks and your gifts! This is what makes us as individuals special, and makes the world a better and more interesting place. Embrace who you are and use your talents to make a difference not just in your life, but also in the lives of others.
   
   
3. Go another mile. Do more than necessary and take pride in what you do, no matter how trivial or menial.  When you do more at work you will be noticed and eventually get that promotion or raise, or maybe even a better job. Be persistent, keep going and don’t give up. You alone have the power to make whatever it is you do important and gratifying.
   
   I once heard Robin Sharma tell a story about a Men’s room attendant that he met in a South African airport. This man took great pride in what he did and went the extra mile. He greeted the men, at the door as they entered, with a huge smile and welcomed them to his office. His “office” was spotless and the floor and faucets gleamed. He made everyone feel welcome to not just the Men’s room but to his country. He definitely went over and beyond what was expected and I would imagine that he received more tips than would an attendant who wasn’t as pleasant or didn’t take such pride in their work. Money is a by-product of success!
   
   Go the extra mile and be persistent. Napoleon Hill tells a story about a gold miner who tolled for a very long time without hitting gold. Being discouraged he sold his mining rights and equipment to someone else. That person dug three more feet and hit the mother load! Often when we feel the most discouraged that’s the time when we should be working even harder. Don’t give up, you never know, you may be only three feet away from success!
   
   
4. Use wisely your power of choice. We’re all faced with choices every day. We even have the ability to choose our thoughts, beliefs and actions. No, it isn’t always easy, but by being aware of what you’re thinking and questioning what you believe, you can change how you feel and what you think.
   
   You can choose to see the good in a bad situation and find new opportunities, or you can dwell on what’s bad and get sucked into what I like to refer to as “the black hole of despair,” which can be all consuming and paralyzing. Given the choice, which would you rather choose? If you actually work on this you will feel empowered and more in control!
   
   Choose wisely when making a decision. Think about all aspects of what you’re about to do. How does it affect you and the people you love or depending on what it is, maybe even people you don’t know? What are the benefits? What are the drawbacks?
   
   Ask yourself what price you’re willing to pay, because we all have to pay a price for everything we do. There’s always a trade off. For instance, you’re offered the job of a lifetime, but the price you pay would mean staying away from home for extended periods of time. If you have young children, maybe not seeing them would be too high a price to pay. But, if you’re single, or your family can travel with you then you might consider it an amazing opportunity.
   
   
5. Do all things with love. If you do all things with love you can never go wrong. Showing love is being totally present when speaking with someone, making them know how important and valued they are. It’s doing your work with love and taking pride in what you do, no matter what it is.
   
   It’s also about loving yourself, which some can find to be difficult. Listen to the things you say to yourself. Do you ever tell yourself, “I’m not good enough?” “I’m not pretty enough.” “I’m not smart enough.” What would you say to a friend who said those things? Talk to yourself as you would your best friend. Treat yourself and everyone you know with love.

 
What do these five steps have in common? A change in attitude! When you’re grateful, realize how special you are, go that extra mile, choose wisely and do all things with love, you’re creating an abundance attitude. And when you cultivate an abundance attitude you will see and appreciate the riches and opportunities already in your life, and will be happy and successful beyond measure!
 

Between the election and the holidays many people will need to deal with stress, anxiety and depression this year. How do you cope? How do you maintain control when you feel like you have none?            
 

• Acknowledge your feelings. Feelings are information. Try to figure out what they’re telling you. Maybe they’re trying to tell you that you’re putting to much pressure on yourself? Maybe you’re expecting too much? Maybe you’re doing too much? Take a look at you’re priorities. What is most important to you? What can you let go of? What can others help you with?

 

• Give up guilt. The house doesn’t need to be perfect and you don’t need to do it all! When it comes to decorating and cleaning, good enough is really good enough! You don’t need to bake and make crafts if you don’t want or have time to, but if that’s a priority than let go of something else … and do it without guilt. And don’t compare yourself to others you don’t know their story!

 

• Learn to say no. I heard a great line the other day; when you say yes to doing one thing, you are automatically saying no to doing something else. So make a list of your priorities and figure out what’s realistic and what’s not. If you try to do too much you’ll just get stressed and it will not only affect you, it will affect everyone around you, putting a damper on everyone’s festivities.

 

• Simplify your life. Do your shopping on line when you have time and try to avoid the crowds at the store, being in over-crowed places can increase your anxiety levels. If you don’t have time to write out long notes on your holiday cards then don’t, it’s really okay! Instead, why not pick a different holiday or a time of the year where you don’t have as much to do and send a long note then. I had an uncle that would send out cards on Valentine’s Day just to let people know how much he cared for them. It made his card stand out and be even more special.
  
  If you’re the one entertaining, get help with the cleaning and cooking, and keep your menu simple. If you want to try one new recipe do so but don’t go overboard. You don’t need to impress your friends and family, they’ll love you anyway and if you have a relative that is always criticizing, and we all have one of those, you’re not going to please them regardless of what you do!
  
  Some people just live for drama, so don’t let them bait you! Mentally prepare yourself for that person before hand. Think about how you want to respond to them so they don’t spoil your day and keep a smile on your face and love in your heart!
  
  
• Stay within your budget. I know this is really hard to do. We all enjoy giving the people we love gifts, it makes us feel good, but there are other ways to show your love. Remember debt causes even more anxiety! If you’re on a really tight budget get inventive.  Maybe you can bake cookies or bring someone a meal, it doesn’t need to be fancy, or just spend some time visiting with them. The gift of your time is priceless!
  
  Most people don’t care what you spend they just want to know that you care and thought of them. And I have found that often the things we buy are forgotten or discarded as soon as the excitement wears off!

 

• Take time for yourself. Meditate, read, take soothing scented baths, diffuse essential oils or have potpourri around, light candles and practice deep breathing and mindfulness. Take time in the evening to wind down, you’ll sleep better and maybe include a hot cup of soothing herbal tea in your nighttime routine.

 

• Do something for others. Doing something nice for someone else or someone less fortunate will make you both feel wonderful. When you think of others and how you can help them, you immediately stop thinking about your own problems.

 

• Practice Gratitude. Every morning and every evening go over all the things you have to be grateful for. Even if you don’t have much or if you’re ill there is always something to be grateful for; the gift of another day, the sun shining, the people who love you, you get the idea! Being grateful sets the tone of the day and helps keep things in perspective.

 

• Get involved. I don’t want to talk about politics, but I don’t think we can ignore the impact the outcome of the recent election has had on many people. No matter which side of the fence you’re on, pay attention to the issues that are important to you. The best way to feel like you have some control is to make your voice heard. Write to your local and state representatives, the governor and even the president about your concerns. There is a peaceful solution for everything, but we can only change that which we acknowledge to be a problem, putting our heads in the sand will accomplish nothing!

 

• Make sure you’re getting enough Vitamin D. As the days get shorter and colder you may not be getting enough vitamin D. According to Dr. Andrew Weil adults should take at least 2,000 IU of vitamin D. Studies have shown that vitamin D can help with depression and help protect your bones. Look for brands with D3. Other good sources are salmon, sardines, cod liver oil, mackerel and fortified eggs.

 

• You may want to consider taking a B complex. Studies have also shown that low levels of B12 and B6 can cause depression.

 

• Get enough Omega 3 fatty acids. Omega 3 fatty acids have been shown to reduce depression, anxiety and inflammation. Read the label to make sure your fish oil supplement has 500 mg of EPA and DHA.

 
Have a wonderfully happy and stress free, or at least less stressed, holiday season!

Have you ever practiced mindfulness? I thought I had. I was under the assumption that being mindful is simply paying attention to what I was doing and being in the present moment. It is, and it isn’t.

I recently spent a day in a mindfulness, meditation and nutrition workshop. We walked for thirty minutes mindfully. We were instructed to step out with our left foot and place it on the floor ever so slowly, so that we could notice each part of our foot hitting the floor and feel our weight shift from one foot and leg to the other. Breathing is also a big part of being mindful. We were to breathe in as we put our left foot down and breathe out as we put our right foot down. Our instructor explained that by walking this way we would find joy in the action.
 
It took a few minutes to get the hang of it, and I hate to admit this, but after about ten minutes I started to feel annoyed. I have never walked so slowly in my entire life and the person in front of me, I thought, was taking this mindfulness thing way too far! He was taking so long between steps that I couldn’t get my breathing right, I just couldn’t seem to hold my breath that long! I was becoming impatient! A snail could have out walked me! What was wrong with this guy? I wanted to pass him but I thought everyone in the room would be appalled, and then when I looked around, I realized they were all walking just as slowly!
 
Suddenly it dawned on me … I wasn’t being mindful! I was thinking of the person in front of me, and how slow he was walking. I was thinking about how long this was taking and how I was feeling. I took a couple of deep breaths and started once again to concentrate on how my foot felt when it touched the floor and how shifting my weight felt. I started to pay more attention to my breath and tried to find joy in the experience.  Afterward we had a buffet style macrobiotic lunch of rice, squash, carrots, cucumber, pickled watermelon radish, hummus, seeds and salad, and hot organic apple cider.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said a thousand times that we should eat mindfully and maybe you eat slowly, but I can pretty much guarantee you don’t eat mindfully!  Next time you eat, I want you to give this a try. First make sure everyone eating with you has food on their plate before you start. Then say a few words of thanks before eating. So far so good! Do not talk, watch TV, read, stand or be on your phone or tablet. Pay attention only to your food. Piece of cake!
 
Put a fork full of food in your mouth and try to chew your food at least 50 times, more often is even better. Pause between bites and make sure the first bite has been completely chewed and swallowed before putting the next bite in our mouth. As you chew pay attention to the flavors and texture of your food, and even the chewing process and swallowing. Every once in awhile have everyone stop eating and pause for about thirty seconds or so, then after about thirty minutes you can start talking. You can do this!
 
As I waited for everyone to get their food, which seemed to take forever, but was probably only fifteen or twenty minutes, I started to become impatient. Obviously I have no self-discipline! I was hungry and thirsty, and concerned that my food was getting cold.
 
When we finally were allowed to eat, my food had gotten cold, but it was still actually quite delicious and the fact that it was cold didn’t seem to make a difference. I was self-conscious eating my carrots, the sound of the crunch was deafening in that quiet room and it seemed impossible to chew my rice fifty times and yes I really did count!
 
I didn’t miss the TV, phone or my tablet, but I desperately wanted to talk to my friend while we ate!  Have you ever tried to not talk when someone tells you not to? It’s similar to having a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine sitting in front of you and being told not to eat or drink it. The more I thought about not talking the more I wanted to. I felt like a monk who had taken a vow of silence, except that I hadn’t!
 
Drat! I was not being mindful…again! I took several deep breaths and concentrated on eating mindfully. Even after we were allowed to talk, my friend and I kept our chatter to a minimum. We were both still trying to be mindful and maybe feeling a little self-conscious about talking.
 
At the end of the day my friend and I talked about the day and realized that we both had a similar experience. As we were driving home, the car in front of me was doing about 25 miles per hour in a 35 mile per hour zone. I told my friend that the driver must be driving mindfully and we both laughed, but to my surprise I was neither angry nor impatient, I just went with it.
 
That night as I thought about the day, I realized what a wonderful day it really was! I remembered the joy, serenity and calmness that I saw on the faces of the people who practiced mindfulness on a regular basis. I realized how slowing down to that level actually made me feel calmer and more appreciative, and helped to put life somehow into perspective.

What I discovered is that being mindful isn’t just paying attention to what you’re doing and being in the present moment. It’s paying so much attention to what you’re doing that you have to slow down the process to be able to fully appreciate the minutiae and find joy in the experience.

Our lives today are so busy that we often don't take the time to appreciate the little things, but in order to stay calm and keep our sanity we really do need to slow down from time to time.

You can practice mindfulness doing anything. When you do be patient with yourself. If you notice you’re mind wandering or you’re becoming impatient then you’re no longer being mindful. Take some deep breaths and try again. It’s worth it!