Being a caregiver isn’t for the faint of heart! They have more emotional ups and down “then Carter has liver pills.” …I know I’m dating myself!
 
Emotions are information. They’re telling you something and you need to examine them to figure out what it is they’re telling you. Are you feeling sad or unhappy? Why? Do you feel out of control? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? What’s the cause?  Are you overwhelmed? Do you feel guilty?
 
Don’t ignore your emotions! When you do, you’re creating the equivalent of a volcano, and at an inappropriate time or situation you will explode! So, deal with your feelings before that happens!

• Figure out what your feelings are telling you.
• Is what you’re feeling accurate or appropriate?
• Look for solutions.
• Can you do anything about it?
• What can you do about it?

 
For example, the condition of the person you’re taking care of changes. Maybe you need to spend more time taking care of them. You can’t control the fact that they need more help, but you can control who takes care of them. Can you hire someone? If you can’t afford to hire someone, can another family member or even a friend, stop by to relieve you, or just to help? And for heaven’s sake, ask them! People typically won’t offer help. I know, it would be nice if they did, but they won’t! They assume that if you need help you’ll ask them, so go ahead and ask! Start thinking outside the box. Accept the situation, but think about things you can do to take some of the burden off yourself.
 
I don’t know about you, but I was raised to feel guilty about “everything!” As an adult, I’ve learned that guilt is very destructive. It’s self-imposed and typically not appropriate.  You may feel guilty that you’re healthy and the other person isn’t. You may feel guilty because you still want to do things and have a life. You may feel guilty because you’re not able to be there 24/7 or maybe you feel guilty because you resent being there 24/7. It’s perfectly normal to have these feelings! It does NOT make you a bad person! It makes you human! Work on letting go of guilt. Examine the reasons for it. See if you can find solutions and give yourself permission to have those feeling! They’re just feeling and the only person they can harm, if you feel guilty about them, …is you!
 
Caregivers often suffer from depression. Their life seems to be on hold. They’re overwhelmed and overburdened with things that they think must get done. But you know what? Not all of it has to get done! Prioritize and only do the necessities. Don’t stretch yourself too thin! Don’t be shy, ask for help! Have positive people in your life that you can turn to. And for goodness sake take time for yourself, and try to have some fun on a regular basis!  
 
Life can change at any given moment. You may think you have things under control, and suddenly, wham! There’s a new, unforeseen wrinkle thrown in the mix! When change occurs, you will most likely go through at least some of the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Maybe the patient suddenly requires more care than before. You feel bad for them, but you may also grieve for yourself and the impact that it has on your life. This is perfectly normal! You’re allowed to "deny, be angry and depressed,"  but only for a short time. Don’t live there!
 
There are things you can do that will help you cope:

• Exercise: I know it can be difficult to find time to exercise, but exercise helps build strength, and helps to reduce anxiety and stress. Even if you only have time for a ten or fifteen-minute walk, do it! You’ll feel better and more relaxed.
  
  
• Meditate: Meditation is one of the best ways to achieve acceptance and peace. Meditate on a regular basis. I started meditating twice a day, in the morning and before bed and it makes a significant difference! I also highly recommend meditation for the patient as well, if they’re willing to try it. Studies have shown that meditation can help ease pain and promote healing. Meditation also helps with anxiety, depression and letting go of what you can’t control.
  
  
• Paying attention to your breath:  Throughout the day and especially when you’re anxious take several deep breaths through your mouth and out your nose. Notice the air temperature going in and out. Follow your breath from your nose to the bottom of your lungs and then follow it back out. This is very calming and can be done anytime and anywhere.
  
  
• Laugh: Laughter truly is the best medicine. Take a few minutes every day to just laugh. I remember Tony Robbins talk about an experiment where they took depressed people and made them look in the mirror and make the biggest smile possible. The exercise got the people laughing because they thought they looked silly, but it also helped to lift them out of their depression, almost immediately! You can’t be depressed when you’re smiling and laughing. It’s physically impossible!
  
  
• Focus on your body: Take time out to relax your body. Scan your body starting at your toes and notice the body parts that are tight and breathe into them and relax.

 
You don’t have to go on the rollercoaster alone! These are great tools to use, but sometimes professional help is needed! Don’t hesitate to talk to a professional. Being a caregiver isn’t easy. You need to take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of anyone else! And remember, regardless of the condition of the person you're caring for, you still deserve to be happy! 

You don't need to be a "caregiver" to relate, taking care of children can at times feel the same way. Please leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you and see how you're coping!

In 1983 Shirley MacLaine’s book “Out On A Limb” came out. By the way, she’s a very interesting lady!  I thought her stories about meditation were fascinating. She wrote about out of body experiences, and even being up in the mountains freezing and using meditation to get warm, by visualizing the sun warming her, and it worked! I wanted some of this!
 
Over the years I’ve dabbled with meditation, but for one reason or another I just couldn’t seem to stick with it. The first time I tried to meditate I kept thinking about all the things that I had to do. In my head, I wrote out my shopping list and to do list, and then I got annoyed. Why on earth was I just sitting here when there were things to be done? I was antsy and bored. After five minutes, and yes it was only five minutes even though it seemed more like an hour, I was done.
 
But I knew meditation was going to be good for me, so I persevered. I finally discovered Deepak Chopra’s meditations and could sit through the entire meditation. Progress!
 
I meditate most every day now, but there are times I still struggle to stay in the present moment and not let my thoughts wander, but I found the more often you meditate, the easier it is.  I’ve also discovered that Shirley MacLaine’s experiences aren’t unique. Using meditation people can heal themselves, create permanent behavioral changes, as well as raising their body temperature!
 
In December, I spent a weekend at one of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s workshops where we meditated throughout the day for three days.  If you don’t know about him, you need to check him out. http://www.drjoedispenza.com

Dr. Dispenza is a chiropractor, researcher, scientist and author. He healed himself using mediation and has done extensive research that shows that meditation consistently works to heal the body and create change. It was an amazing experience and if you get a chance to go to one of his workshops I highly recommend it!
 
I enjoyed the experience so much that I’m starting a meditation and support group with Paula Sabharwal PWP, PAI and Dr. Susan Raslovick, D.C. You can’t beat the mediation experience when you doing it in a group setting, so you won’t want to miss out on this unique opportunity, whether you’re a beginner or an experienced meditator! You’ll learn more about how to meditate, why it can be difficult when first starting out and suggestions to make the experience better. We’ll also learn more about Dr. Joe and his techniques, and how to obtain the results you want!
 
We’ll be conducting weekly meditation sessions at Dr. Raslovick's office, 376 Summerfield Court, Horsham, PA. We will be using Dr. Dispenza’s philosophies and meditation tools, the six-week session, Tap Into Your Inner "Genius," begins Tuesday, January 31st, 7pm. For those that would like to try it out. Please join our weekly Awaken to Your Inner "Genius" Meditation group, beginning Thursday, January 26th, 7pm.

Register here: meetup.com

“If I am not for me, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And, if not now, when?” – Hillel The Elder
 
It’s a new year and a time for new beginnings. What are you planning on doing for yourself this year?
 
​When you’re on an airplane they tell you that if the oxygen masks come down in an emergency to put it on yourself first, if you pass-out you can’t help anyone else. So, make this the year that you take care of yourself first and go after the life you want!
 
I know so many people, especially women, that put themselves on the bottom of the list. This year make a pledge to put yourself first. That doesn’t mean that you have to neglect your family and friends. It means that when you put your needs first, you’ll be in better shape to help them! Why? For starters, you’ll be happier and more energetic, and you may even have less stress and become more patient and tolerant.
 
I know it isn’t easy to find time for yourself, but think about how important it is. Are you happy? How’s your health? Are you stressed? Do you exercise? Do you eat right? Do you take time to meditate, read a book or take a bath? Schedule it! Put it on your calendar! You’re more likely to do something if you block out the time on your calendar.
 
Taking care of yourself isn’t just about exercising and eating right, it’s also living the life you want. Its working at the job or the career that fulfills you. Its pursuing your dream. Its having relationships with people that make you happy, not stress you out.
 
What are you waiting for? The years will pass anyway and then what? If you don’t do something about your life now, you’ll still be in the same place five, ten or fifteen years from now. Is that what you want?
 
In his book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hills said, “that the starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat. If you find yourself lacking in persistence, this weakness may be remedied by building a stronger fire under your desires.”  
 
What is it that you desire? What do you want your life to look like? What improvements do you want to see this year?  Whatever they are, you need to find a strong reason why you should do it. Is your reason strong enough to keep you motivated? If it isn’t, come up with a better reason!
 
For instance, you know that when you’re overweight it can affect your health. Maybe you’re not having any symptoms yet or maybe they’re minor so you’re not all that motivated. Why not tell yourself that if you don’t do something about your weight now, you’re going to have health problems down the road and maybe you’ll be a burden to your children or maybe you won’t be able to play with your grandchildren.
 
Make your motivation powerful and get an accountability partner. Studies have shown that even when you have a good reason it’s much easier to tough it out when the going gets hard, when you have someone to hold you accountable. Just make sure it’s someone who supports you and doesn’t have a hidden agenda.
 
If you think you already take care of yourself and your life is just the way you want it to be, that’s wonderful, but are you the best version of yourself that you can possibly be? I think that most of us are always looking for growth and improvement. So maybe consider taking a class, learn a new language and volunteer to help others. Helping others benefits both the giver and the receiver.
 
So, make 2017 your best year so far, you’re worth it! And remember, “If not now, when?”
 
 
 

The holidays are a beautiful time to spend with family and friends, but they can also be very stressful.
 
Family can often bring on the most stress. Every family has someone in it that can turn an intelligent, self-assured adult into an insecure, angry, frustrated, and hurt little kid. You remember the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me?” We all know that isn’t true. Words do hurt and often take much longer to heal than broken bones, but only if we allow them to!
 
There are some people, I call these the “drama queens,” that just aren’t happy unless they make everyone else miserable. By the way drama queens can be male or female.  
 
When you’re dealing with a drama queen, prepare for them ahead of time. Tell yourself that you are an intelligent, capable person and that whatever this person says stems from their own insecurities. Only you can allow someone to hurt your feelings and this time you’re not giving them permission to do that!
 
If someone in your family is bullying you, you can try to ignore what they’re saying and not react or respond to it. You can remove yourself to another room or go talk to another person. Usually they’re looking for a reaction and if they don’t get one they may give up.
 
If that doesn’t work let them know that you love them but don’t appreciate how they’re talking to you and that it isn’t appropriate behavior for a holiday get together and if they would like to discuss something with you, you would be happy to do so, in private at another time.
 
Also, have someone there with you that you know will support you. Someone you can go to when you feel like you’re losing control, and will help you regain your perspective and confidence.
 
You deserve to have a joyous and wonderful Holiday, so don’t allow others to ruin it for you. Words are just that, just because someone said them it doesn’t make them truths. Consider the source and realize that they come from a person who has their own problems and insecurities!
 
Wishing you and your family a joyous and wonderful Holiday Season and a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!

​I know It’s hard to believe, but it’s time to start thinking about your goals for next year. I get it. You’re busy, but this is really important! How’d you do this year? Have you surpassed your expectations? Have you fallen short? Or did you meet all your goals? If you met all your goals and/or exceeded your expectations, then congratulations! Great job! But, if you didn’t have a problem reaching all your goals, maybe you didn’t set them high enough? What do you think? On the other-hand if you’ve worked really hard, but still didn’t reach all your goals, congratulations, because you stretched yourself!
 
Setting goals can be a tricky business. If you set your goals too high and you don’t reach them you’ll be disappointed and think you’re a failure, but if you set your goals too low, you aren’t stretching yourself. You’re settling for mediocrity.
 
For starters, take the word failure out of your vocabulary! When things don’t go as planned you need to look at why and learn the lesson, so you don’t repeat it again and again. Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and over again and expecting different results. If you don’t examine what happened and make plans to not let it happen again, it will be déjà vu all over again!
 
Now let’s look at what you’ve accomplished this year. Where did you start out and where did you end up? Did you make significant gains? Did you accomplish more than you thought? Did you do as much as you could have? Are you excited about what you’ve accomplished?
 
Answer those questions honestly. How are you spending your time? Are there things that you could have done better or more of that would have helped you? Are you doing everything you can to promote your business or are you lacking in some areas? Do you need to delegate?
 
Did you know that hiring a virtual assistant for only one day a month can free up time for you to handle the things that only you can do? There are people who can write blogs for you, do your books, handle your social media posts, even help you plan your goals and hold you accountable. You don’t have to do it all, or go it alone and it doesn’t need to break the bank either. Instead of thinking in terms of money, think in terms of what your time is worth. When you waste time doing things that someone else can do, and maybe even better than you, you’re basically throwing money away.
 
The easiest way I have found to set goals is to work backwards. What do you want to accomplish by this time next year? Once you have your main goals, determine what you need to do to achieve them. Prioritize and do the most important things first. Every day you should be doing something that moves you toward your goal. A good rule of thumb is to plan to do three to five of the really important things every day. Start with the most important first thing in the morning, that way if your day gets derailed you’ll feel like you accomplished something, which of course you did.
 
Find someone to hold you accountable. It’s much easier to reach your goals when you have someone encouraging and motivating you. Make sure you prioritize and don’t waste your time on things that someone else can do for you.
 
I know that with the holidays this is a crazy time of year, but it’s very important to set aside time to look at 2016 and start planning for 2017. If you don’t set goals you won’t know where you’re going, so you’ll never get there!
 
 

Have you ever looked at someone else and marveled how they seem to have it so much easier than you do?  We often compare ourselves to others and think other people are smarter, luckier, happier and more successful than we are. But the reality is that we don’t know their whole story. We don’t know about the struggles and adversities they’ve faced. “Overnight” successes can be ten or twenty years in the making.  But maybe the biggest difference between you and them doesn’t lie as much in their story, as it does in their attitude.

A friend recently suggested that I read the book “The Greatest Miracle In the World,” by Og Mandino. If you haven’t read it, you should, it’s short, but powerful. The book confirmed what I have always believed to be true. We all have the power to be happy and successful no matter what our circumstances or how much money we have!
 
According to Mandino there are five simple laws for happiness and success:

1. Count your blessings. Gratitude is powerful. Start and end your day listing all the things you’re grateful for. It can be anything; the scent of a flower, sunshine, a beautiful sunset, a kind word, a stranger letting you out in traffic, talking to a friend, your kids, your husband, walking the dog or snuggling with your cat.
   
   Count your blessings. Be grateful for your health and the things you are able to do. Even if you’re ill or infirm, there’s always something to be grateful for, your doctors, the support and prayers of others, or that you survived a serious illness. You’ll be amazed at how much you have to be grateful for, regardless of your circumstances. Gratitude can set the tone for the start and end of your day.
   
   
2. Proclaim your rarity. I think this one can be difficult for many. We often don’t recognize how special we are. The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said that God is in all of us and I agree. We are all special and we all have gifts, we just need to realize it and embrace it.
   
   I remember when I was very young, my grandmother used to tell me that we are all special and good at something, we just need to discover what it is. At the time I remember thinking that I would never figure it out. And truth be told, it took me a while, but I did finally realize that what I had always considered to be my weaknesses were actually my strengths. I am stubborn, sensitive, and an introvert, which has helped me throughout my life, to be tenacious, empathetic, and a good listener.
   
   Be proud of yourself and embrace your quirks and your gifts! This is what makes us as individuals special, and makes the world a better and more interesting place. Embrace who you are and use your talents to make a difference not just in your life, but also in the lives of others.
   
   
3. Go another mile. Do more than necessary and take pride in what you do, no matter how trivial or menial.  When you do more at work you will be noticed and eventually get that promotion or raise, or maybe even a better job. Be persistent, keep going and don’t give up. You alone have the power to make whatever it is you do important and gratifying.
   
   I once heard Robin Sharma tell a story about a Men’s room attendant that he met in a South African airport. This man took great pride in what he did and went the extra mile. He greeted the men, at the door as they entered, with a huge smile and welcomed them to his office. His “office” was spotless and the floor and faucets gleamed. He made everyone feel welcome to not just the Men’s room but to his country. He definitely went over and beyond what was expected and I would imagine that he received more tips than would an attendant who wasn’t as pleasant or didn’t take such pride in their work. Money is a by-product of success!
   
   Go the extra mile and be persistent. Napoleon Hill tells a story about a gold miner who tolled for a very long time without hitting gold. Being discouraged he sold his mining rights and equipment to someone else. That person dug three more feet and hit the mother load! Often when we feel the most discouraged that’s the time when we should be working even harder. Don’t give up, you never know, you may be only three feet away from success!
   
   
4. Use wisely your power of choice. We’re all faced with choices every day. We even have the ability to choose our thoughts, beliefs and actions. No, it isn’t always easy, but by being aware of what you’re thinking and questioning what you believe, you can change how you feel and what you think.
   
   You can choose to see the good in a bad situation and find new opportunities, or you can dwell on what’s bad and get sucked into what I like to refer to as “the black hole of despair,” which can be all consuming and paralyzing. Given the choice, which would you rather choose? If you actually work on this you will feel empowered and more in control!
   
   Choose wisely when making a decision. Think about all aspects of what you’re about to do. How does it affect you and the people you love or depending on what it is, maybe even people you don’t know? What are the benefits? What are the drawbacks?
   
   Ask yourself what price you’re willing to pay, because we all have to pay a price for everything we do. There’s always a trade off. For instance, you’re offered the job of a lifetime, but the price you pay would mean staying away from home for extended periods of time. If you have young children, maybe not seeing them would be too high a price to pay. But, if you’re single, or your family can travel with you then you might consider it an amazing opportunity.
   
   
5. Do all things with love. If you do all things with love you can never go wrong. Showing love is being totally present when speaking with someone, making them know how important and valued they are. It’s doing your work with love and taking pride in what you do, no matter what it is.
   
   It’s also about loving yourself, which some can find to be difficult. Listen to the things you say to yourself. Do you ever tell yourself, “I’m not good enough?” “I’m not pretty enough.” “I’m not smart enough.” What would you say to a friend who said those things? Talk to yourself as you would your best friend. Treat yourself and everyone you know with love.

 
What do these five steps have in common? A change in attitude! When you’re grateful, realize how special you are, go that extra mile, choose wisely and do all things with love, you’re creating an abundance attitude. And when you cultivate an abundance attitude you will see and appreciate the riches and opportunities already in your life, and will be happy and successful beyond measure!
 

Between the election and the holidays many people will need to deal with stress, anxiety and depression this year. How do you cope? How do you maintain control when you feel like you have none?            
 

• Acknowledge your feelings. Feelings are information. Try to figure out what they’re telling you. Maybe they’re trying to tell you that you’re putting to much pressure on yourself? Maybe you’re expecting too much? Maybe you’re doing too much? Take a look at you’re priorities. What is most important to you? What can you let go of? What can others help you with?

 

• Give up guilt. The house doesn’t need to be perfect and you don’t need to do it all! When it comes to decorating and cleaning, good enough is really good enough! You don’t need to bake and make crafts if you don’t want or have time to, but if that’s a priority than let go of something else … and do it without guilt. And don’t compare yourself to others you don’t know their story!

 

• Learn to say no. I heard a great line the other day; when you say yes to doing one thing, you are automatically saying no to doing something else. So make a list of your priorities and figure out what’s realistic and what’s not. If you try to do too much you’ll just get stressed and it will not only affect you, it will affect everyone around you, putting a damper on everyone’s festivities.

 

• Simplify your life. Do your shopping on line when you have time and try to avoid the crowds at the store, being in over-crowed places can increase your anxiety levels. If you don’t have time to write out long notes on your holiday cards then don’t, it’s really okay! Instead, why not pick a different holiday or a time of the year where you don’t have as much to do and send a long note then. I had an uncle that would send out cards on Valentine’s Day just to let people know how much he cared for them. It made his card stand out and be even more special.
  
  If you’re the one entertaining, get help with the cleaning and cooking, and keep your menu simple. If you want to try one new recipe do so but don’t go overboard. You don’t need to impress your friends and family, they’ll love you anyway and if you have a relative that is always criticizing, and we all have one of those, you’re not going to please them regardless of what you do!
  
  Some people just live for drama, so don’t let them bait you! Mentally prepare yourself for that person before hand. Think about how you want to respond to them so they don’t spoil your day and keep a smile on your face and love in your heart!
  
  
• Stay within your budget. I know this is really hard to do. We all enjoy giving the people we love gifts, it makes us feel good, but there are other ways to show your love. Remember debt causes even more anxiety! If you’re on a really tight budget get inventive.  Maybe you can bake cookies or bring someone a meal, it doesn’t need to be fancy, or just spend some time visiting with them. The gift of your time is priceless!
  
  Most people don’t care what you spend they just want to know that you care and thought of them. And I have found that often the things we buy are forgotten or discarded as soon as the excitement wears off!

 

• Take time for yourself. Meditate, read, take soothing scented baths, diffuse essential oils or have potpourri around, light candles and practice deep breathing and mindfulness. Take time in the evening to wind down, you’ll sleep better and maybe include a hot cup of soothing herbal tea in your nighttime routine.

 

• Do something for others. Doing something nice for someone else or someone less fortunate will make you both feel wonderful. When you think of others and how you can help them, you immediately stop thinking about your own problems.

 

• Practice Gratitude. Every morning and every evening go over all the things you have to be grateful for. Even if you don’t have much or if you’re ill there is always something to be grateful for; the gift of another day, the sun shining, the people who love you, you get the idea! Being grateful sets the tone of the day and helps keep things in perspective.

 

• Get involved. I don’t want to talk about politics, but I don’t think we can ignore the impact the outcome of the recent election has had on many people. No matter which side of the fence you’re on, pay attention to the issues that are important to you. The best way to feel like you have some control is to make your voice heard. Write to your local and state representatives, the governor and even the president about your concerns. There is a peaceful solution for everything, but we can only change that which we acknowledge to be a problem, putting our heads in the sand will accomplish nothing!

 

• Make sure you’re getting enough Vitamin D. As the days get shorter and colder you may not be getting enough vitamin D. According to Dr. Andrew Weil adults should take at least 2,000 IU of vitamin D. Studies have shown that vitamin D can help with depression and help protect your bones. Look for brands with D3. Other good sources are salmon, sardines, cod liver oil, mackerel and fortified eggs.

 

• You may want to consider taking a B complex. Studies have also shown that low levels of B12 and B6 can cause depression.

 

• Get enough Omega 3 fatty acids. Omega 3 fatty acids have been shown to reduce depression, anxiety and inflammation. Read the label to make sure your fish oil supplement has 500 mg of EPA and DHA.

 
Have a wonderfully happy and stress free, or at least less stressed, holiday season!

Have you ever practiced mindfulness? I thought I had. I was under the assumption that being mindful is simply paying attention to what I was doing and being in the present moment. It is, and it isn’t.

I recently spent a day in a mindfulness, meditation and nutrition workshop. We walked for thirty minutes mindfully. We were instructed to step out with our left foot and place it on the floor ever so slowly, so that we could notice each part of our foot hitting the floor and feel our weight shift from one foot and leg to the other. Breathing is also a big part of being mindful. We were to breathe in as we put our left foot down and breathe out as we put our right foot down. Our instructor explained that by walking this way we would find joy in the action.
 
It took a few minutes to get the hang of it, and I hate to admit this, but after about ten minutes I started to feel annoyed. I have never walked so slowly in my entire life and the person in front of me, I thought, was taking this mindfulness thing way too far! He was taking so long between steps that I couldn’t get my breathing right, I just couldn’t seem to hold my breath that long! I was becoming impatient! A snail could have out walked me! What was wrong with this guy? I wanted to pass him but I thought everyone in the room would be appalled, and then when I looked around, I realized they were all walking just as slowly!
 
Suddenly it dawned on me … I wasn’t being mindful! I was thinking of the person in front of me, and how slow he was walking. I was thinking about how long this was taking and how I was feeling. I took a couple of deep breaths and started once again to concentrate on how my foot felt when it touched the floor and how shifting my weight felt. I started to pay more attention to my breath and tried to find joy in the experience.  Afterward we had a buffet style macrobiotic lunch of rice, squash, carrots, cucumber, pickled watermelon radish, hummus, seeds and salad, and hot organic apple cider.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said a thousand times that we should eat mindfully and maybe you eat slowly, but I can pretty much guarantee you don’t eat mindfully!  Next time you eat, I want you to give this a try. First make sure everyone eating with you has food on their plate before you start. Then say a few words of thanks before eating. So far so good! Do not talk, watch TV, read, stand or be on your phone or tablet. Pay attention only to your food. Piece of cake!
 
Put a fork full of food in your mouth and try to chew your food at least 50 times, more often is even better. Pause between bites and make sure the first bite has been completely chewed and swallowed before putting the next bite in our mouth. As you chew pay attention to the flavors and texture of your food, and even the chewing process and swallowing. Every once in awhile have everyone stop eating and pause for about thirty seconds or so, then after about thirty minutes you can start talking. You can do this!
 
As I waited for everyone to get their food, which seemed to take forever, but was probably only fifteen or twenty minutes, I started to become impatient. Obviously I have no self-discipline! I was hungry and thirsty, and concerned that my food was getting cold.
 
When we finally were allowed to eat, my food had gotten cold, but it was still actually quite delicious and the fact that it was cold didn’t seem to make a difference. I was self-conscious eating my carrots, the sound of the crunch was deafening in that quiet room and it seemed impossible to chew my rice fifty times and yes I really did count!
 
I didn’t miss the TV, phone or my tablet, but I desperately wanted to talk to my friend while we ate!  Have you ever tried to not talk when someone tells you not to? It’s similar to having a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine sitting in front of you and being told not to eat or drink it. The more I thought about not talking the more I wanted to. I felt like a monk who had taken a vow of silence, except that I hadn’t!
 
Drat! I was not being mindful…again! I took several deep breaths and concentrated on eating mindfully. Even after we were allowed to talk, my friend and I kept our chatter to a minimum. We were both still trying to be mindful and maybe feeling a little self-conscious about talking.
 
At the end of the day my friend and I talked about the day and realized that we both had a similar experience. As we were driving home, the car in front of me was doing about 25 miles per hour in a 35 mile per hour zone. I told my friend that the driver must be driving mindfully and we both laughed, but to my surprise I was neither angry nor impatient, I just went with it.
 
That night as I thought about the day, I realized what a wonderful day it really was! I remembered the joy, serenity and calmness that I saw on the faces of the people who practiced mindfulness on a regular basis. I realized how slowing down to that level actually made me feel calmer and more appreciative, and helped to put life somehow into perspective.

What I discovered is that being mindful isn’t just paying attention to what you’re doing and being in the present moment. It’s paying so much attention to what you’re doing that you have to slow down the process to be able to fully appreciate the minutiae and find joy in the experience.

Our lives today are so busy that we often don't take the time to appreciate the little things, but in order to stay calm and keep our sanity we really do need to slow down from time to time.

You can practice mindfulness doing anything. When you do be patient with yourself. If you notice you’re mind wandering or you’re becoming impatient then you’re no longer being mindful. Take some deep breaths and try again. It’s worth it!

I was talking to a client the other day and she was telling me about her recent accomplishments, which by the way I have to tell you how proud I am of her! She has gone after what she wants with passion, a willingness to learn and persistence, which is exactly what it takes to succeed!
 
She reminded me that when you are passionate about your calling, you want to be known as being best in your field. It really doesn’t matter if you’re job is cleaning toilets, a secretary, Realtor, writer, banker or even Richard Branson, if you desire excellence and to make a difference, you need to take pride in your work and continually work at improving.
 
Many of us, at a certain point in our career stop learning and growing, even when we aren’t as successful as we want to be. Why is that? Maybe we’re too busy and don’t think we have the time. Maybe we don’t want to spend the money. Maybe we think things are as good as we can expect them to get. Or maybe we’ve just become complacent. Does any of this sound familiar?
 
Where are you in your career? Before you answer, take a long hard look at where you are and what you’re doing. Is your business still growing? Have you hit a plateau? Do you want a promotion? Do you want to grow your business or improve your performance? Do you want to be the go to person or be known as the expert?

In the beginning of your career you learn and read as much about your field as you possible can. You spend hours researching the job, as well as other people in your field, and study the latest publications. As you become more successful, more confident, and busier, maybe you start to think,  “I just don’t have enough time to spend doing that kind of thing any more.” “Its just not that important.” Or “I can’t spend the money on going to that convention, I need to put it back in my business.”
 
People, who are successful, continually invest in themselves. They look at the big picture, and are proactive in making themselves the best. So how do you become the best? It only takes three simple steps.

1. Read at least sixty minutes in your field a day. Did you know that if you read an hour a day every day in any given subject, that in five years you’ll be an expert? Remember though that technology and the market are constantly changing so when the five years are up you can’t stop learning.
   
   
2. Listen to educational audio programs in your car.  The average American spends 101 hours in their car each day! Why not take advantage of the time by listening to educational audio programs. (It will also help take your mind off of the traffic).
   
   
3. Attend courses and seminars in your field regularly.  As a rule of thumb you should invest at least 3% of your income back into yourself. That means that if your making $50,000 a year you should be investing at least $1,500 in yourself for further education; through classes, books, seminars and conventions. In this case more is better. The more you invest the better you’ll become!

 Can you afford to not invest in yourself? I remember reading a story in one of John Maxwell’s books about a dentist. The dentist goes to every convention he possibly can. He eventually goes to one in Japan and learns about a new technique and is so excited by it that he becomes proficient in that procedure. People from all over the country come to see him, which enables him to retire at age 50 and spend time traveling and enjoying his family. What would have happened if he hadn’t gone to the convention? Possibly someone else would have become the expert!
 
Not everyone works just so they can retire early, although there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe you’d rather leave a legacy and make contribution to society. Just think of all the wonderful things you could do if you had a lot of money! What charities would you support? Maybe you could start a program to help underprivileged or special needs children?  Maybe create a scholarship for teenagers learning your field? The possibilities are endless!
 
Don’t be selfish and think you don’t need a lot of money. Think instead about the good you can do with it! Make a plan and take the time to invest in yourself so you can achieve your goals and make a real difference in the world!
 
If you’ve lost your passion there are other things you can do to get that spark back, but that’s a subject for another day. If you can’t wait, give me a call and we can create a plan together to get it back. Until then, be empowered and live with intention!

What one word best describes your life? Would you describe it as fantastic, incredible, or wonderful, or would you say its’ difficult, stressful or maybe just okay?  What if you could change your life? What if you could be happier and more successful?

Life isn’t always easy.
 We all go through hard times it’s how we handle them that makes the difference. One woman gets a divorce, is completely devastated and just can’t seem to get over the fact that her husband left her for another woman. Because she’s so unhappy it affects other aspects of her life and she just can’t seem to find joy in anything. Twenty years later she’s still bitter and blames her unhappy life on the fact that her husband left her.

Another woman gets divorced because her husband leaves her for another woman and although she devastated she tries to get on with her life. She goes back to school, gets a great job, meets and marries a nice guy and twenty years later says the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to her.

We all know people like this, people who had some life altering experience and they either become a much better and happier person or they became bitter and miserable.  What causes the difference? Attitude and our thoughts influence our attitude! The good news is we have the power to choose our thoughts and attitude! We can choose to be positive and learn from life’s challenges or we can choose to be stuck and miserable and have a victim mentality.

How do we change our thoughts?
 
Most everything we do is habit, including our thoughts. Ninety-percent of the thoughts you have today are the same thoughts you had yesterday.  If you start to become aware of what your telling yourself, you will have the ability to question your thoughts and change them.
 
Keep a journal. At the end of every day review your day. Record what went right and what didn’t. Analyze what you could have done differently to make the outcome better. Don’t judge yourself, there’s no such thing as failure just learning experiences.

Have something to focus on.  Victor Frankel the author of “Man’s Search For Meaning,” found that those prisoners in the concentration camps who kept their spirits up and had someone or something to live for, (focus on), had a much better chance of surviving the concentration camps then those who didn’t.

How would your life be different if you could change how you think? It’s uncomfortable to change a habit, including what we think, but it can be done! Are you willing to work at changing? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Do you think it’s worth it? What are the consequences of not changing?
 
To learn more about how to change your thoughts, join my September 28th mastermind on the book, As A Man Thinketh, by James Allen.

To register go to: www.jlbcoachingsolution.com/calendar.html.